“What profession do you want to pursue?” My teacher asked at my public high school. “Well, I most want to be a mom,” I answer. [Insert Teacher Laughter here.] “You better marry someone rich!” To her, the idea seemed so old-fashioned & unreasonable.
Fast forward to today…I am now a stay-at-home mom. Despite my rugged exterior, I’ve always wanted to be a little June Cleaver.
But now, when someone asks what I do? I want to tell them I’m a successful marketing professional. Even though I haven’t worked full-time in a year & a half, I still attach this to my identity. It’s difficult to let it go…I loved my job. I was good at my job. I received accolades at my job.
I want to tell people what I did. I want to have a title, a business card & I want them to be impressed that I’ve achieved such greatness. For some reason, I want people to think I'm accomplished. Being a mom is the most important thing in the world, but for some crazy reason I also want the recognition that I feel a working professional gets.
Any of you moms go through this? You still see yourself as a nurse, an accountant, a teacher, although you have no intention of returning to this profession?
So here it is - I am Carrie. I am a housewife, a homemaker, a stay-at-home mom. Maybe I’ll create a business card with all of my new titles: Nanny, Cook, Seamstress, Professional Shopper, Food-Allergy-Specialist, Teacher, Driver. Hmm…I guess it’s a pretty lengthy list, huh?
16 comments:
I know what you are talking about..I've had many conversations with my sister-in-laws about this very thing! Staying at home with my kids is so much harder than my previous job yet I don't regret leaving it one bit! Maybe one day I'll want to have another job when the kids are in school but for right now, this is where I belong! By the way, the painting is just beautiful!!
I understand although I work 2 days a week at the hospital. I can't imagine giving that up. I know being with Sophie is the most important job there is for me right now but I get so much satisfaction from working and being around adults 2 days a week. Plus I am a worrier and I think about retirement and such. Working part time allows me to feel like I have the best of both worlds. I'm not sure I could stay home all the time. I admire you for being able to though!!
I hear you, Carrie. For some reason, I still think of myself as a nurse, even though I only do it for one day -12 hours- a month. It's a title that I worked hard to gain and a profession where I truly felt that I worked for God's glory. But, I know that God has given me the greatest gift in being able to be home with Brax. I wouldn't want anyone else "raising" him, for lack of a better term. So, to all of us stay-at-home mommies, who "used to" "be somebody," I believe that we have the greatest job in the Kingdom! And maybe some day we'll go back to those secondary jobs :)
All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother; God is gracious and I went from high school to half a semester of college to marriage. My husband worked two and three jobs to allow me to stay home with our children; I thank God for him. There were and are so many times that I look to the other side of the fence. I know in my heart that helping three children grow into Christian womanhood and manhood is my crowning glory. As for accolades. . ."Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies." "Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her." Proverbs 31:10,28 My sincere gratitude to you young women who know a noble calling when you see it!
now THAT's a good word.
You know I feel the same way. It is so hard to let go of our official titles that make us feel connected to the rest of the working world. Now my connections are spread to all other stay at home moms. Which does lend me a connection to the most important people in the world. Carrie, I am so glad you are home with Ethan. Me and Brooks would miss y'all if you were working full time.
PS I am so ready for the zoo and walking next week.
i know some titles you forgot...
Best Wife in the World
Best Friend in the World
Oh, Carrie. I know exactly what you need. I have had mine designed now for a couple months, now I am waiting until I can convince myself that it is justifiable to spend the money on them. Check this out:
fruition-designs.com/mommycards.aspx
what every modern housewife needs, dontcha think??
So true! Good Luck tomorrow!
I have to comment on this one. I have a 4 yr old and 2 yr old, and have struggled with this identity crisis since not long after my first was born. I have done all three: stayed at home for extended times after my children were born, worked full-time, and currently, work part-time. And from my experiences, I personally believe, as with anything else in life, life should be in balance. Whatever we are involved in...home, family, relationships, recreation, social life, employment (I didn't say work, because I know home is just as much work as having employment work), volunteering, church involvement, or any assortment of those things...our lives tend to work best when in balance. Even the "perfect wife" as discussed in a previous comment and found in Prov. 31: 10-31 (which, btw, is inscribed on my wedding band), is balanced. She is a wife, mother, businesswoman, seamstress, involved with charity, etc. Sorry for the long post from someone you don't even know, but I think this is a crisis for most moms, and I can truly relate.
Um, I went climbing at YOUR gym tonight...tell me again about not feeling accomplished?????
What a great post. There is nothing better or more important than being a good mother to our children. I am so thankful I am able to stay home with Will, he is such a blessing! I saw the "good luck" comment - are you running the Music City Marathon (I remember you saying you were training for one)? I have a friend doing it too, so GOOD LUCK!
i will design that business card for you! just say the word:)
i can't comment from the mom standpoint, but i do struggle with this employment identity thang since all i can say is that i work for the g'ovt. i sometimes kinda wish i could pass out business cards with some important title, but then i rethink and am rather glad i don't associate my personality to being a gov't beurocrat! Rather I would want my card to read creative, world traveler, experimental chef, volunteer, sporty, outdoorsy, artsy chick who will try anything once!
i just thank God for a comfortable income and am able to spend QT with those that mean the world to me!
I am not exactly an official mom yet, but I have to comment on this. It seems the first question someone asks when they find out I am expecting is, "Are you STILL going to work?". I have become some what defensive of this question. Yes, I am going back to work, and I am not sure how I will feel when the day comes when I leave our baby with a stranger. But, I just graduated from pharmacy school, still pay student loans monthly, and really always planned on working. I guess it is what you feel is right for you and makes you the happiest. I just wanted to give a flip side to this issue, because either way there is a struggle. No matter what your title, it seems like you are a wonderful wife and mother. Is there anything more important in life?
Thanks so much for everyone's comments! Seems this topic struck a nerve. Thanks too, Casey, for bringing in the other side. I thought long & hard about returning to work, and felt the pressure on that side too. And for Amanda's perspective as well.
Unfortunately, we women seem to be hard on each other in regards to whether we have jobs outside the home or not. I hope we can mature to realize there are tons of factors in a woman's decision, and that she is doing what seems best for her family.
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